Speaking of the Ladies.

Maybe it is just my business, maybe my generation, or maybe being the first born “son” to an athletic father, but I really get a bit chapped with the marketing of women’s golf. It seems to be nothing but fluff and appealing to a stereotype of us as little ladies with lily dipper swings wearing clothes perfectly coordinated in pink from our equipment to our clothes! Today I got my PGA trade magazine, devoted to helping women into the game... OK, good goal. But then Sports Illustrated had an online poll to vote for the “hot” ladies on tour. Jeez, I mean Sergio is pretty hot too; where do I cast my ballot for him? Is it really rocket science to figure us women out?

I have been watching women’s golf for years, and the coverage has always been sub par. They hire commentators that discuss family life and clothing (yawn!), bring out the second string camera crews, and make the tour look second rate. Why can’t they invest more into the Women’s Tour and make it exciting? In fact, why can’t the LPGA do more and create more excitement and buzz... I think the Big Break does a better job, although I have noticed that there is a lot of focus on the skirts in their camera replays.

I know marketing is about numbers and unfortunately, women represent only a small segment of our golfing population. In today’s tight economic times, reaching out to new customers is a high priority for courses and companies to maintain their bottom line. I would like to encourage them to remember that while women may have a tendency to accessorize, they still want the same things as men... A long drive down the fairway, approach shots that reach the green, and a few holed putts to brag about in the clubhouse.

By the way, who do you think is hotter, Sergio or Aaron Baddely?

-- Dee Forsberg

Where Have All The Caddies Gone?

It was on an August morning at Royal Portrush in Northern Ireland when my great friend Dave Cowley, the Business Incentives tycoon, arrived on the first tee along with our caddies. The early morning smell of Guinness and Paddy whiskey was wafting across the tee box as we were introduced to these four shady characters that were to carry our bags and guide us through this challenging course. The first caddy went by the name of “Honest John,” and when Cowley inquired as to the origin of his name, my caddy Sean replied, “He got his name because half his lies aren’t true!” That started the most memorable 18 holes of golf I have ever played in Ireland.

As Dave stood up on the first tee, he promptly duck hooked his ball left into the rough. He asked his caddy where the ball had gone, and “Honest John” replied, “It’s in the lie grass.” Cowley asked, “What is the lie grass?” The caddy replied, "If you go into the lie grass and find your ball... you're lying!” On hole number two Dave slices his tee shot 40 yards to the right. He asked the caddy again where the ball landed. “You are in the love grass,” the caddy replied. “What in the name of God is the love grass?” Cowley asked. The caddy replied smartly, “When you hit it in there you are f!@#ed!”

All joking aside, caddy programs in the area are reduced down to just a few golf clubs, while they once flourished at both the public and private courses. Many of our top industry leaders forged their business prowess on the links at an early age by looping. One of the great caddy programs, which Dee and I are involved in, is the Minnesota Minority Golf Association, which was formed by Twin Cities Attorney Clayton Tyler. This program is special to us as it provides valuable employment and work experience to urban children. These kids are trained early on the ins and outs of caddying and travel to the various clubs in the metro to work their craft. A select few have translated this employment vehicle into scholarship opportunities as they sought their higher education.

One of the most wonderful things in the world is watching four players and four caddies leave the first tee for an enjoyable round of 18 holes. I would like to ask you to support your local caddy program at your club by taking one of those young lads out. And remember, they do more than just carry your bag.

--Gerald McCullagh

Where's the Ladies' Tee?

Last Sunday morning I arrived at Woodhill CC for my practice round for the Women’s US Open qualifier. This is the first step for us competitive players to gain a berth in the US Women’s Open, which is held in Minnesota at Interlachen at the end of June. It was a beautiful day and I was looking forward to playing that morning with my student and friend, Onie Ritz, her husband Cracker, and my favorite Irish colleague, Gerald McCullagh. While we were warming up, head professional Phil Reith drove down the hill in his golf cart to inform me that the tournament would be played from the championship tees and a score of 80 would be the equivalent of par! Now, I’m a 43-year-old working mom, and I wonder how the hell I can get around the course at that prodigious length without hurting myself. My “warm up” turned a corner just then as I felt the sweat dripping down my brow from my efforts at extracting another 50 yards out of my trusty driver.

Women’s golf has taken a new turn these last few years to where the LPGA is truly represented by world-class athletes. These chicks can play some serious golf! When I first entered the world of competitive play, 29 years ago, tournaments were held on courses that were not much longer than your average pitch and putt course. Six-thousand yards was considered long in those days, and your average National Championship was contested on a course that was maybe 6,200 yards. This year’s event at Interlachen will play out at 6,750 yards, which is what the men’s PGA Tour played at a handful of years ago.

At the end of day I like to take a personal inventory on my play and plan my upcoming practice sessions. After slogging it around Woodhill that morning from the back tees, I realized that I needed a personal trainer to help me find 50 more yards off the tee. I think this may be my last hurrah for sending in my entry in for the Women’s Open... Good luck to all you young women, this 43-year-old is going to wait for a women’s senior tour to emerge. Next time you go out to play ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to look behind you on the tee box and think... oh, there’s the “Ladies' Tee”!

P.S. I would like to share a joke with you:

It was a sunny morning, a little before 8 a.m., on the first hole of a busy course, and I was beginning my pre-shot routine and visualizing my upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loud speaker, "Would the gentleman on the women's tee back up to the men's tee, please!"

I could feel every eye on the course looking at me but I focused on my routine and remained impervious to the interruption.

Again the announcement, "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up to the men's tee."

I ignored the guy and remained focused on playing my shot, when once more, the man yelled, "Would the man on the women's tee back up to the men's tee, please!"

I finally stopped, turned, cupped my hands, and shouted back, "Would the jerk with the microphone kindly keep quiet and let me play my second shot."

-- Dee Forsberg

Golfing For A Cure

As a golf instructor, I usually bond with people over golf. But sixteen years ago, I bonded with a special lady over something entirely different: cancer.

Christine Clifford Beckwith came to me in 1992 on a mission: she wanted to lower her handicap from a 24 to an 18. Dedicated, she saw me monthly year-round, and worked diligently on her game—the perfect student. And then one day, she came to me for an entirely different reason.

She had just been told she had cancer. She was experiencing a painful déjà vu: her mother had died from breast cancer at 42. But Christine wasn’t wallowing or wondering, “Why me?” Instead, she decided to fend off her disease with two unlikely weapons: wit and golf.

First, she wrote a book (one of six she eventually published) entitled, "Not Now… I’m Having a No Hair Day!" filled with cartoons about her experiences and her life. Golf earned several places in her book: her wig blowing off on the golf course, her golfing buddies giving her 40-foot putts, and her wistful stare into the Pacific Ocean—bald from chemotherapy—while standing on the tee in Carmel, California, thinking, “In my next life, I want to come back as a rock on Pebble Beach.” She started The Cancer Club, which offers humorous and helpful products for people with cancer, and now travels the world speaking about using humor to get through life’s adversities.

She also asked herself, "How can I help find a cure?" With her hundreds of connections in the golfing industry (Arnold Palmer and Tom Weiskopf wrote the forewords to two of her books), Christine started fund-raising. In 1998, Christine asked me to participate in her first of what would be five Christine Clifford Celebrity Golf Invitationals, held at the beautiful Minikahda Club.

I conducted her golf clinic, and over 300 golfers gathered around the practice green to watch and learn. Five years later, we had raised over $1 million for breast cancer research. Little did I know then that my favorite sister Margaret would be diagnosed with cancer—she lost her battle eight years ago. I look back and am grateful for the years I donated my time to help find a cure.

Today, Christine proudly plays to a 14 handicap. She actually got down to an 11 last summer, has played in City League, won the first flight of the Minikahda Ladies’ Club Championship, and shot her career round of 78 at the Chaska Town Course the week after the U.S. Amateur was played there in 2006. She still sees me monthly, and as a thirteen-year survivor, is grateful for every day, whether she gets to tee it up or not. But I am the one who is blessed, because I have Christine as a dear friend and champion student.

-- Gerald McCullagh