WIIFM Revisited

Times are indeed tough. And it’s times like these when people like you need to get creative to get what you really want. Perhaps it’s an informational interview, an opportunity to pitch your product, service or capabilities, access to good information, or just a human voice on the line.

But don’t forget—there are dozens of other people who want the exact same thing as you. And if it’s not clear what’s in it for the party you’re pitching, you might have one hell of a time getting anywhere—much less, what you want. Following me so far?

There are various forms of business communication that, as far as I’m concerned, are dead. And e-mail, in my esteemed professional opinion, is bobbing-in-the-water dead, alongside that reeking, bloated fax machine. I don’t see what’s in it for me, other than a drain on time I don’t have to waste.

I currently average 250 e-mail messages a day. Assume each message takes about three minutes to read, process, and consider—forget any forwards or responses. Seven-hundred-and-fifty minutes are 12.5 hours. I’m not going to put in a 12.5-hour day just to read e-mail messages. I have work to do.

Sadly, there could be a golden ticket in the inbox. It could be the greatest innovation for our team, save us millions, or boost market share. But when I have to read down several paragraphs of an unsolicited e-mail message from someone whom I’ve never met, much less heard of, chances are I won’t give it a chance. I’ll file away as spam or trash.

The worst is the repeat offender, who sends the same e-mail message repeatedly, hounding me for an answer and threatening to go to my chief executive to complain about my lack of engagement. Hint: this really isn’t the way to get me to pay you any attention. It just pisses me off.

In face-to-face discussions, I can quickly sum up relevance after listening to a 30-second elevator speech. E-mail doesn’t give the elevator speech a chance, since it takes up three paragraphs. So if you want my attention, forego the e-mail message. Get creative.

And if you think I’m wrong, by all means, send my chief executive an e-mail message and complain. I think he’s spending about 19 hours a day going through his own inbox. But maybe you’ll get his attention after all.

Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I’m just like ‘shut up, shut up, shut up . . . blah blah blah blah blaaaaah.’ —Ellen Degeneres

Comments

[Whatsername]

You know, Stephanie, if I knew where to find the machine in this building, a fax might actually work!

We all worry about what we want, not necessarily if we're knocking on the right door to get it. For instance, if I don't work in supply chain (I might, but let's just say for the sake of argument I don't), then repeatedly pounding me with invitations to speak at your next supply chain conference just wastes everyone's time. And no, I don't have time to "pass this along to the right person." Aim first, then fire.

[stephanie]

I had to explain to my 13-yr old son what a fax machine even is a couple of days ago, he's never seen one. He thought it sounded cool... You didn't mention, presumably on purpose, what WOULD get your attention...? Perhaps a fax will soon be retro-unique enough to stand out? :)