Deep Thoughts, Part Deux

And now, once again, deep thoughts. Right.

- Every speech given, anywhere, to anyone winds up on YouTube anyway. So where does this backroom expert on the latest business whizbang get off charging five figures for an hour with my team?

- From a quick scan of today's BusinessWeek main page:

        1. Fish pedicures. More than 5,000 people in the D.C. area have put feet into buckets of heel-nibbling carp for what is allegedly a more sanitary scrub of dead skin. This business model is doomed, because once some co-ed geniuses inevitably take the DIY route and dip their toes into the roommate's piranha tank, the suits will start a-flying.

        2. Headline for this week's "The Welch Way" column: "Emotional Mismanagement: Negative feelings tend to spread. But information and inspiration can work wonders." Fire that headline writer for tempting readers like me to ask Jack and Suzy how well that advice worked out a few years back in their personal lives.

        3. Debate: "Office buildings should allow smoking indoors in designated lounges. Pro or con?" Please. Start fining them for throwing their butts all over the place - because they do, whether they have a hermetically-sealed box to puff in or not.

- Why, in the age of Google, can't some people at work take the initiative and find the answers themselves, instead of pestering me all day with messages?

- If you're too busy to know what's going on with your own team, do you have the right to demand personal updates that slow the rest of us down? Apparently.

- If a former colleague from 10 years ago was your nemesis, but you know how to get her to work like mad, is it wrong to suggest hiring her? Of course. But it's fun to think about it.

- Classic: Companies beat the past quarter's expectations, then get pummeled for guidance, usually couched in reality, by those who have a vested interest in that reality - but live in a land far, far away. Can't wait for the next call.

Many people don't realize that playing dead can help not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.  - Jack Handey